When our own children reach that magical age of 18, do they leave home, are they ready for it, is there somewhere to go and can they afford to? For most of them, the answer is no! For most young people now, they haven’t even finished their education yet. Why then is it an expectation for young people we look after, and may have for years, to leave us and manage on their own?
Having brought up children and young people alongside my own children, for me, it was really important that they were all treated the same (where possible). So, when the first young person reached the age of 18, as some of my own had, it seemed normal for them to remain living with us. Not all young people want to, as they may feel ready for that next step, and some want to return to their birth family.
The benefits for the young person of staying put are that they can finish their education, find meaningful employment and mature in the safety of the place they have called home. Often, when they have that security, things that they thought were impossible can become a reality, like going to university. For other children and young people living in the home who may be wondering “what will happen to me when I grow up?”, they will be able to feel secure in the knowledge that there are options for them too, and know that we really do care about them.
The benefits for us as carers are huge. We see them grow from sometimes quite tricky teenagers to responsible adults who have a real place in society. We see them finish their education, enter into employment, and often see them in relationships / marriage and we gain lots of grandchildren!
We can rightfully feel that sense of pride for all of their achievements and feel like its a job well done.